The last week or so I have been telling myself that i need to write about everything that happened in New Orleans and what I learned/took away from the experience; but I realized that is really hard to do...there was so much, and I still haven't really processed most of it. Of course part of the reason is probably the fact that I haven't really slept very good since I got home.
BUT Anyway. there is something I did kind of realize that I think I can process and talk about. I realized that I have started again letting people's responces tell me wether or not I make the cut in the area of attractiveness. Now granted,this has always been a rough area for me, because of what I have always learned "beautiful" meant; but like last semester I had got to a point where I found myself "ok", I don't know that I would have called myself "beautiful", but it wouldn't have bugged me too much if others didn't find me so attractive. But the last little bit that has not been the case. I realized over the break that right now I really don't feel attractive at all; and I am not sure exactly why, or how to re-gain that confidence I had before, but I know I need it back.
This doesn't seem to make sense when I re-read this....I'm sorry.