Sometimes I feel so alone. Right now I should be in bed, I have class in the morning; but I can't sleep with this in my head...and right now I don't even care if anyone reads it...I might not even tell anyone that it is up, idk.

But sometimes I do feel alone. I'm in an environment were so much of what's in my mind is taboo and/or receives responses and/or looks that convey that I am some sort of crazy person or just a plain monster that has some highly contagious disease. Yet at the same time, I'm scared to reach out to the people who will maybe not think that way about me. Why am I scared? 1. Part of me still believes 99% of the thoughts in my head are taboo 2. I still have no answers to faith, love, or life; and apart of me thinks that I have to have that info to reach out.

I'm ok with me now. Yeah, I still have addiction problems and other issues, but those...in a weird way aren't connect with me; they don't determine how I feel. Recently I have vented my stress, from the virtual dam of silence holding back all the thoughts I feel I can't speak, by crying; and it does make me angry that I don't feel free to talk. But that doesn't mean I'm not happy now, that I am not ok with me.

Anyway, I can't think of anything else to say; so I'll say goodnight.
sleep well everyone.