Friends

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art.... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival. ~C.S. Lewis

To my friends:

Today is my birthday, yet today I am running from celebrations of me for several reasons; but none of which I will discuss today. As C.S. Lewis puts it, my friends make my life worth living; so today I want to celebrate you, my friends.

All of you are at different levels of friendship. Some are family that is really my friends, others are friends that should have been born family, and everything else in between. There are those who know a lot about my life, others I’m just getting to know; but all of you have planned your part in blessing my life.

Over the past year or so, my friends have given me hope that I am not the monster that I have believed myself to be in the past. They have held me, some even from great distances, and listened to me cry over numerous events and painful moments. By small acts of love and kindness, my friends have shown me true love and reminded me that I am in fact a human being which entitles me to have the value and respect that comes with that.

I don’t think I would have made it (or at least not as successfully) if I had not had my friends beside me letting me know that it was ok to express how I felt. Even if what I felt was an irrational desire to forget my birth and take no part in the celebration of it. They were still there and loved me even though they might not have understood.

Now to honor some of my friends (but unfortunity not an exastive list) for what they have been to me and my life.

My Best friend Emily…nothing in the world could ever really tell of the impact that she has had on my life. She came into my life at a time that I saw absolutely no value in myself. At the time, I was hiding everything I was and living completely behind whatever mask was needed for those I was around. But from the moment I met her, my mask broke, and my secrets came spewing out at her while I panicked asking myself what the hell I was doing. We have been friends for five and a half years now, she is truly like a sister I never had. To say the least Em and I have been through a lot together. Both probably scared the other at times, and I think (or hope anyway) that both have benefited from the other. I know I have. Emily, probably is the first person to show me what true grace and mercy is all about. Mercy, not giving me what I deserved while grace…giving me what I totally did not deserve, her love and friendship. I respect her for having the courage to live and do what she does. She really is a huge inspiration to me.

Kirstyn…the only person who within days of meeting her stayed up until midnight listening to me and just allowing me to vent. That was the night I gave her the label of being a “Weird Christian”, but I am so glad that she is not like the other Christians I have came across in my life. She blows me away with her love….I really did not think someone could love like that (or at least not a Christian). She was the first person I ever so hurt with me over something even when they did not agree with me about it, they just empathized with me in that moment.

Cory…Relatively new to my pack of friends is one of the few guys who I ever knew, without question, I could be around and not worry (even when being very vulnerable) what might happen. He is just a really good guy. It still amazes me that he says I bless his life, even though I don’t understand how I do.

Dawn…pretty much is kind of like the aunt I wish I had. She is amazingly humorous and incredibly smart, both of which have helped me a lot (most of which have tended to get stuck in my head for days at a time). She has a way of bringing those huge ideas that are to me kind of “out there” and abstract and helping them seem real and practical; framing them such that makes me think I can do something with them. She’s one of very few adults…er…well older than me adults that will actually let me take their Saturdays on several occasions just to hang out. That’s pretty cool

Erin…Inspires me in so many ways. One of the first things I noticed about Erin probably was her smile. Anytime I’m around her (even when she isn’t feeling well) it seems she’s always joyous. Erin is also intriguing to me. She seems to read me rather well, but I have yet to figure her out.

Lauren...like a big sister and awesome friend all rolled into one. When I met her, I didn’t like her but was drawn her anyway. She is, or can be at times, very blunt, she is not afraid to tell you the way she sees it; but at the same time, she has a huge heart that really cares for people. It used to always surprise me when Lauren would ask if I could just hang out by going to the pool or movies; it was definitely weird for me, but that “just hanging out” side is probably one of the cooler sides of Lauren.

I owe a lot to my friends. I would not be here without them. I do not think I would have faith (of any kind) without them. And I definitely would not know real love without them.

So on my birthday, I want to celebrate all my friends…the ones named here and the ones that are not, they all play their part in bright light and live into my world.

To all of you, Thank you.

Christen