part 1

So this must be the weekend of thinking and blogging and crying. I have two things on my mind right now and even though both thoughts are kinda connected I'm going to split them into two blogs and I am going to do them chronologically. The first one is about the topic talked about in church today.
The scripture that got me thinking was Ephesians 1:4-5 "Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advanced to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure."
Ok so after he read this Mike, the pastor, gave the example of parents choosing and adopting a kid and by the fact of adoption the parents are kinda telling the kid that they are wanted by the parents. Despite popular belief, I understand the concept of adoption because I am adopted, I just don't understand my parents view of not learning where I came from; but when I heard Mike's example of God's thing with people, the thought "we chose you and want you until you're gay" came to mind. That's sort of how I feel it is with my dad. But after this thought came to my mind I kinda wrote out a prayer that basically told God that in Romans he says that nothing can make him not love people but I asked him if he was like my dad in that, even though he loves me (assumed), does he want me cuz I'm gay.
That is one of the things that I'm trying to figure out now. I guess obviously part of me has been thinking, God might be cool and he might love me, but does he really want me like I am?