Tonight I am going out to eat with my family for Mark's birthday, and I find myself in a conflict.
On the one hand, I think back to everything this week and really want to continue that even with all the possible repercussions. I want to continue because this week felt great. I felt more focused, energetic, motivated, happy, and I really looked forward to my lunch and dinner (I was never really awake to care about breakfast).
On the other hand, I know what's happening and I know where it can lead and all the repercussions. I know what others would say I 'should' be doing, yet at the same time.....this week felt like heaven to me; and honestly...right now the thought of going back (even if not completely back) to where I was before....scares the crap out of me.
I don't want to give up heaven even if it's illogical.
Ok, I don't know what the point of this was.